Do you ever find yourself in a season of waiting? A season where life just seems to be an endless loop of the same thing – get up, go to work, go home to bed. Where you wonder what life is actually for? That’s where I’m at the moment.
I probably should back track a bit and fill you in on what has happened in the months since I last posted. My husband and I arrived back in Perth at the end of August. He was transferred to a local hospital and to this day he is still there. The doctors cannot give us a date as of yet when he will be home, and that is hard to hear, but it is what it is. Mark still has a long road of recovery ahead.
I am grateful to be back home, though as we have family, friends and our church family here to support us. And most importantly, for myself, I am able to work. Though getting back into work was difficult for me. From the perspective of not being what my mum calls ‘work-hardened’. I hit the ground running and then caught the first cold I was exposed to…and I’m yet to work a full nine day fortnight. But, I’m planning to get there at the start of November.
November. October. There’s less than three months of this year to go, and I feel like life has hit the pause button. Yes, I have several events happening that I am looking forward to…but what I really want is to have my husband home so we can get on with our life.
But, perhaps I need to change how I see this season of our life. A time for us to continue growing as a couple, to strengthen us for the future. I know I’ve grown as a person in the past few months. I’m learning to be more open and honest about where I’m at at any given moment. I’m learning to be vulnerable and most important of all to cry out to God and remember that He is with me, even when it feels like He’s not.
And in light of that, I’ve reached out to those who can help me in this journey. Friends, family and professionals. There is no shame in seeking help from psychologists and social workers. It is not weak. Sometimes talking it out with a neutral third party is the best therapy.
Another form of therapy for me is music. All music has the ability to take me to a joyful place, and Christmas music especially. I started listening to Christmas Worship late August and the joy it instilled in my heart due to what it reminds me of has helped a lot.
However, I’m still in this limbo state of life, waiting for the news that I really want to receive. The day when my husband can come home.
I know that in this waiting that God will carry me; I know that God will give me the strength to go on and continue to shine His light to those around me. And I know that He will use this season of our life for His glory.