Sometimes I wonder what exactly it is I’m doing with my life. Do I really want to work with children? Is my writing just an obsession? Pertinent questions. But, notice, I never, never seriously ask myself, what if God doesn’t exist? What if all the worship I do is worthless, pointless? I never seriously think about that.
I have in passing thought about what my life would be like without the God aspect, but I always come back to the conclusion that without God, life isn’t worth it. God is so important to me. He is the author of everything, and though I am personally responsible for my physical life, my physical being, my physical thoughts and acts; God is still there as well, a rock for my foundation. The guiding light for my heart.
So many things in life steer me toward God, rather than away from Him, and none more so than nature itself. Science also points to God, as far as I’m concerned. But, I don’t mean in the way many ‘Creation Scientists’ claim. I just study science, see nature and believe that God has to exist. Even if it is not the Christian God [though obviously, that is what I believe], there is still a god out there who Created this world.
But, back to my other questions. I have decided that I most definitely want to work with younger children. Beginning in Childcare of course, but perhaps ending up as an Early Childhood teacher in a pre-primary school setting. Of course, it’s not a big money-earning profession, but I’m not really in it for the money. You can’t be. It doesn’t earn you enough to warrant that. Apparently, though the Union in Australia is campaigning for a significant pay-rise and also for the industry to be recognised as a proper career choice and profession as important as teaching in schools.
No matter what, though. I believe this is the area I want to work in. For better or for worse.
Next thing. My writing. I can’t foresee myself ever really publishing anything, most of my original stories get neglected and my brain keeps churning over new ideas that never come to fruition. Though my A7X fanfiction, Shadows Creed has the potential to become an original story, at some stage. However, I can’t see myself ever quitting writing, either. I’ve gotten into a lot of fights with my mum over my writing, with her calling it all ‘crap’. Though I shouldn’t take it to heart because she’s not personally attacking me…it still hurts, and it makes me feel guilty about doing something I enjoy. Which some would say means I shouldn’t be doing it…But, I think I feel more guilty about the being sneaky than actually doing the writing.
I can and will finish my stories, it will just take a lot longer. I hope, though that I won’t tire of them before I finish them… You Don’t Mean Anything being a case in point, though I have some inspiration for it lately.
All in all…that all pales in comparison to how my personal life is going. I am content with myself in general. I have a loving family, boyfriend, wonderful friends, and an amazing God.
That’s me, really. Along with my support of my favourite bands and sporting team…I wouldn’t change any of it. Not for anything or anyone.