Category: Blogging

Posted in Blogging, faith, God, Love, thoughts, what is love

Marly’s Big Topic: Love

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

What is love?


The age old question that so many of us want an answer to.  Especially topical considering the many debates going on in the world today about marriage equality and what are we doing to others in the world today.  The fighting over religious differences and whether we should let certain people into our country or not.  

I think for some of us it’s easier to state what love isn’t.  Love isn’t rejection.  Love isn’t hurting someone (although love can hurt).  Love isn’t ignoring someone.  Love is not apathy or hatred.  Love is not excluding someone based on race, religion, sex, gender, beliefs. 

But, what, then, is love?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines love first as a noun:

  • A strong feeling of affection
  • A great interest or pleasure in something
  • A person or thing that one loves
  • In tennis a score of zero or nil (which in this context we can rule out)
Then as a verb:
  • To feel deep affection for.
These dictionary definitions seem inadequate, though, don’t they?  For those who describe actually feeling loved, or being in love or showing love, it’s so much more than that.  So, what exactly is love?

Well, let me describe love to you in my words, based on my own experiences, through what I’ve read, watched, seen and lived.  

Love is the mother who repeated the message at church to her deaf daughter so she could “hear” it.

Love is those who come alongside the homeless of our city.

Love is the father who wants to protect his daughter from a mother who cannot.  

Love is staying by your partner’s side through sickness and uncertainty.

Love is the toddler who cares for her friends and looks to see why they are crying, even with no words available to them.

Love is a smile for a stranger even if you don’t feel like smiling.

Love is giving your time to another.

Love is the soldier who lay his life down for his country.  

Love is forgiving someone even when they don’t deserve it.

Love is sharing. Love is generosity.

Love is helping someone else despite your own need.

Love is trusting someone else with your fragile heart, knowing that you can be hurt.

Love is a kind word to another.

Love is being present.

Love is serving others with no thought of what you might gain from it.

Love is God who sent His Son to die for us on a cross.

Love is God.

Love is.

Love is an action, it is something we do.  It isn’t a feeling.  Feelings are fleeting.  True love is forever.  It is something we do for others.  And everyone needs love.  Everyone.  No exceptions.  

I know this is something that’s difficult to fathom, especially if we think of some of the people in this world.  Those who have perpetrated awful crimes on others.  But, think of it in the light of love.  

Put on glasses of love and you will see that they turned out that way because their own perspective of love was distorted, corrupted and they need love as much as we all do.  Even if that means we forgive them for what they did….or not push or argue that they should have the death penalty.  That would be loving them.  

A hard concept, I know, but I think one of the reasons I personally do not agree with the death penalty.  

Anyway, I sort of digressed from what I was talking about?  Or perhaps not.  Maybe the point I’m making here now is that to love is not always the easy response.  And perhaps that’s why we always turn to other responses and reactions first.  We fear that we do not know.   And out of fear we react in negative ways.  But, love is the proper reaction.   It is what we are meant to do.   

There is no fear in love. Perfect love drives out fear, as fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18.

So, then, this is what love is.

Love is a verb.  

Love the people around you.  Start with the people in your immediate surroundings.  Your home, your workplace, your shopping centre, your frequent haunts.  Sometimes that’s enough.  Because your one act of love in one place can impact many so that they in turn can love those in their own world.  

Start a love revolution.

Just.

Love.


Posted in Blogging, Church, connect, life, my thoughts

In God We Trust

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
Building community; building the Church – God’s calling in my life 
The big decisions in life can only be made in light of what God has called us to do.  Without God there is no true purpose for life and I truly believe that.  Even for people in the world who are on a journey that doesn’t intentionally include God; their lives all have a purpose in God’s ultimate plan.  
In light of this my husband and I have decided to take a step of faith and lead a small group in our home.  We’ve started Connect Group training through church and we are on a journey to help edify others in their own life travels.  
In making this decision we’ve had to pray and allow God to guide us in what we needed to do to make this work for us.  One of the biggest changes we had to decide upon was stepping away from the worship team.  Not an easy decision; choosing to follow where God leads isn’t always easy.  However, a decision that I know will be rewarding in the long term.  Still not a decision made lightly.
On my end I’ve been in the Riverview worship team for almost 9 years and all that time I’ve not had a break (except for when I was sick).  On my husband’s end he’s been in worship teams on and off since he was in his late teens, so quite some time.  Going by that, I know, God willing, that we will be back in a worship team some day; it is a huge part of who we are as followers of Christ.  But, in this season of life as a newly married couple it is time to move on to the next step.  
We’ve been looking to join a small group for quite a while now, but there really wasn’t somewhere for us to fit.  I’d been in a young adults group a few years earlier and so I know and value the need for small group community within a church such as Riverview.  It’s a large church and so easy to get lost within the crowd.  And one of the most important things in ones faith journey is that we are not meant to do it alone.  We were created for relationship:  with God and with each other.  
I hope and pray that this next step in our journey will strengthen our relationship with God, with each other and the community that we will hope to form within the larger church community.  
Posted in Blogging

30 day blog challenge – Day 3

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
What are your top five pet peeves?

I guess I have pet peeves, things that really annoy me.  And I guess these would rate as my top 5.
1.  Hubby leaving his rubbish lying around (but I really can’t complain as I do exactly the same thing)
2.  People who don’t pull their weight in a team situation 
3. Perth drivers 
4. People who tell me that as a Christian I’m wrong 
5. Opinionated people….but I’m opinionated too…so…
And there it is.  
Posted in Blogging, my thoughts

New 30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 1

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
Discuss your current relationship 
I’ve been married almost six months and sometimes it’s difficult to remember that I haven’t even been with my amazing husband for two years, yet.  That’s a scary thought, considering my previous relationship lasted only two and bit years.  At the same time my marriage is very very different to my previous relationship.  
Mark and I have a very open and honest dialogue with each other; as much is possible for me.  I’m a reserved person and find it difficult to open up to anyone, especially if I’m stressing over things that I have no control over.  My husband though is very good at drawing me out and getting me to speak out my thoughts. That’s something I treasure.  
We can go from having silly insignificant conversations to deep and serious discussions; example: We were talking random stuff tonight and then started talking about same-sex marriage and other relational subjects.  
We are compatible in so many ways and I am forever grateful to God for that.  
Posted in Blogging, blogging the important stuff, childcare, Christmas, December thoughts, early learning thoughts, home is where the heart is, work

It’s December|First Year Done|Home is Where the Heart Is

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Some could say that the first year at a new job is always going to be stressful.  Now add on the fact that my centre was brand new at the beginning of this year.  It officially opened in January and had a dedication service in February.

And, now, we’re at the end of the first year, tracking on well to reaching capacity and running smoothly with all the staff that we need.

I don’t see my colleagues as just ‘other staff’ though.  They’re like family.  Distant family, yes…but family nonetheless.  It’s like what Tim Healy said at our Christmas service on the weekend: We can have more than one home, because home is where the heart is.  And my heart and soul and mind are set firmly at my centre.

Do you feel that way at your centre?

The families that call our centre theirs, the team, the support from the Church team…it’s been an amazing year.  Yes, I’ve been sick countless times and had to have time off…but that’s the hazard of working in my profession.  Children are germ magnets…and maybe I am too.

There have been some amazing moments too.  The little things.  Children learning my name, or reaching for me, or just wanting me to join in their play.  Children learning, developing, growing.  The first steps…the first words… the smiles, the tears, the giggling.  The spilled milk…the crying over spilled milk…all of it.

But I think for me, the defining moment was when my Director said to me, after I’d gone away for a holiday and come back, “You’re not going anywhere, we’re keeping you.”

To feel like a valued member of the team, of the family? That means more than anything.  Especially after the way I felt at my previous centre.

Home.  Home is definitely where the heart is.

So, this Christmas season, I can only give thanks to God.  Thanks that 2015 turned out the way it did.

And here’s to a just as amazing 2016.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.

Posted in Blogging, marlysworld, my thoughts, updates

Tis almost the season…

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

It’s the 4th of November and I thought I’d give you another little update of where Mark and I are at.  

First off, he’s started his new job and is really enjoying it. He’s a greeter at the entrance to Target, perfect job for him.  Backtracking a little, we finally found out what was wrong with him (probably); it was a reaction to the antibiotics they put him on…go figure. 
Anyway, he’s over that and we’re tracking OK in that regard.  
I’m in the babies room at work this week, and seriously that’s the best thing.  Or maybe the worst thing?  Haha, not helping my cluckiness, that’s for sure. 
I have sciatica.  That is I have pain in my left leg which is being caused by a disc in my spine pressing on the sciatic nerve.  It’s a pain, literally; but I’m getting treatment and it’s not effecting my ability to work.  
I have no car anymore because my baby got crashed into last month.  It got written off and I will eventually get a pay out from it.  So, we’ll be able to get a relatively decent secondhand car if we decide to do so.
Another thing at work, my centre has employed a male educator, which I think is fantastic.  There are not many men working in early learning education, as teachers or in centres, so I think it’s wonderful to see.  Especially, young men who are passionate about education in the early years.  
I think it’s sad that the negative stigma of men in the profession is what drives them away.  We need men in the profession because many children need positive male role models in their lives.
In a less serious note, November 1st marked 11 years of me being a Simple Plan fan.  They also released their official first single off their 5th album last month.  
Good Charlotte is apparently back. 
And this Friday night Mark and I are off to watch the basketball at Perth Arena:  Wildcats v Crocs (my Tville boys :)). 
So, that’s me.  
God bless you all. 
(Oh and it’s almost Christmas!)
Posted in Blogging, Church, health, hubby, life, marlysworld, my thoughts, Simple Plan

I’m 30! The rest is all down hill from here!

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Not really. 

I apologise for the lack of thoughts from my brain; 
the last few weeks have been a bit insane.  
Before I update you, have the cover of Simple Plan’s soon-to-be released (tomorrow!!!) single, “I Don’t Wanna Go to Bed!” (“Is this their I Don’t Wanna album?” – Mark). 
Anyway, updates:
1.  My husband’s health took a turn, and he ended up in hospital.  We initially thought it was due to ongoing issues with a wound he has on his foot, but over the past week of tests etc (I won’t bore you with them) the doctors now think he has the flu.  
2. In the last two weeks of school holidays it was absolutely crazy at work.  It’s settled down now, but we now have hand foot and mouth going through the centre.  Fun.  Spent ages cleaning every single toy in our room yesterday. 
3.  I turned 30 on Sunday the 11th.  Not the most auspicious of occasions, what with Mark being in hospital, but a strangely beautiful day, nonetheless. 
4.  Riverview is now based at Curtin for the next ten or so months.  The first service, which incidentally was on my birthday, went amazingly well.  God’s presence was there in the large space.  It still felt like home.
5.  Throughout all this time, one thing is abundantly clear:  God is forever with me.
And finally.  Have this photo of the team worshiping pre-service. 
God bless you all.

 

Posted in Blogging, blogging the important stuff, my thoughts, Simple Plan

Simple Plan – Thoughts – 10 years since first SP concert.

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
I’ve had Simple Plan on my mind for the past week.  Well, to be honest, they’ve been on my mind for at least ten years.  Ten years and eleven months to be exact.  Considering, that ten years from tomorrow would have been the first time I saw the band live, it’s quite a relevant space to be in.  
There are no words really that do Simple Plan any credit, and I’ve probably used up my quota over the time that has passed.  
So, instead I’ll just share a few photos from the three concerts of theirs that I’ve experienced.

Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, September

Early September Update

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

There’s only four months left in the year and my life is getting pretty crazy.  The next few weeks are going to go flying by and before this month is over I’m going to be a married woman.

It’s kind of funny, this is something that, as much as I never really dreamed about it as a little girl, is one of the biggest realities in my life.  I want to grow old with my man.  I want to be like one of those old couples you see in the news.  
Father’s Day this weekend.  To think that the week before my father gives me away to my fiancé it’s the day that celebrates dads.  Nice timing there.  Part of me feels that I should do something extra special for dad, but means and time and the fact that I’m getting married a week later makes that probably a little difficult.  However, I think I will perhaps pen a special message for him.  
Work is getting busier with more kids in my room and I’m loving it, even when it frustrates me.  The dynamics of the group is what makes it easy or difficult.  Not the numbers.  
After all sometimes a day with 25 kids can go smoothly and a day with 5 kids can be horrendous.  It all depends on the mix of personalities in the room.  
This morning Mark and I are meeting up with the pastor who is marrying us.  I’m excited. Eleven sleeps until we get married.  
I am anxious about one thing today. And it’s not really anything to do with anything.  My pay hasn’t gone through, yet.  But, I saw my boss processing them on Monday, so it could just be a case of my pay going through later in the pay cycle. I will try not to stress, as it doesn’t help me to get worried about something that’s not in my control.  
Finance is something that I do stress about though.  Considering I work in a profession that doesn’t pay much. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but living from one pay to the next is something that isn’t easy for someone like me who has trouble saving.  I’m working on that though.
Last night was our last Creative Teams Team Night for 2015.  As our Church begins its new season we won’t be able to meet as a whole team for the rest of the year.  At the end of this month Riverview Church will be shifting to Curtin so renovations can begin on our home.  And so last night was a celebration to mark the exciting times ahead.

Our first service at Curtin will be on the 11th October.  Something else is happening on that day….not sure what…

Haha.  That’s my 30th birthday.  Yes.  I’m going to be married before I turn 30.  That’s something isn’t it?
Posted in Blogging, health, marriage, my life, my thoughts, names

August 2015

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Sporadic blogger, Miss Marly Walker reporting for duty.  

I haven’t blogged in a while as life and health have gotten in the way of allowing my mind to properly ruminate on…life.  Ironic that.  Both the fiancé and I have been sick, to put it mildly, as this winter has been quite unkind.   However, we are both battling through and considering the future ahead of us, it’s just a minor blip on the radar, really.  
Anyway, before I get onto any particular subject matter a quick recap of July and the beginning of August is in order.  
As you are all aware, I’m getting married next month and preparations are well under way for the upcoming nuptials.  Our engagement party last month was quite the success with my social skills being put to the test.  I managed to hold my own and not be too overwhelmed by it all.  Though once everyone left I did heave a big sigh of relief.
Not that I didn’t enjoy everyone being there.  I just needed to recharge afterwards.  Such is life for an introvert.  
This winter and cold and flu season has been quite unkind to me, as I mentioned above; even now I am still nursing a bad cough.  
Work has been hectic, especially being punctuated with time off from being sick.  It’s hard to believe that the centre has been open and operating for over seven months now.  I am absolutely loving it still. The children are such a joy and the staff…my work family are amazing to work with.  The support we have for each other is something I do not take for granted and I am always willing to give that bit extra just for the joy of it.  
That may sound trite, but it’s honestly the way I feel.  
On a more trivial matter.  Simple Plan.  They’re ramping up the anticipation what with hints of a new music video and playing a new song on an awards show.  Boom! To say I’m excited for their new album is probably an understatement.  But, I’m under stating it as my excitement levels for that really can’t be compared to the anticipation I have for my wedding.  The latter totally eclipses the former.  So much so that I still don’t really feel it.  If that makes sense.
I held my bouquet the other day.  And…I cannot describe the feeling deep inside me, but I was dancing for joy internally.  I mean, sure a wedding is just a ceremony that lasts a moment.  However, it marks an important point in one’s relational journey.  
Mark and I spoke the other day about how we think it makes sense to get married earlier in the relationship and then to grow together, committed to each other and learning about each other more and more.  Rather than getting to know each other and then getting married and realising you’ve already done everything you wanted to do together and it’s just going through the motions.  
Marriage isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.  
Wow.  That was profound.  Even for me.  
That makes me think for a moment to why I even want to get married.  And sure, once upon a time my stock standard answer would’ve been, because it’s just what happens, right?
But, now?  Well, it’s because it’s what I really want.  I want to share my life journey with someone that I can trust every little thought every little speed hump, every battle, every victory, every moment with.  I want to share it with someone who gets me and at the same time wants to invest the time to get to know me even better.  I want to share life with someone who I want to do exactly the same for.  
And the wedding?  That’s where we get to publicly declare our commitment to each other in front of the people who matter in our lives.  And before God.  

And, yes, I want the white dress and the little church and my dad to hand me over to my fiancé.  I think that’s just absolutely beautiful.  
So, marriage, a journey.  And one that I am looking forward to with much anticipation, and some nervousness.  Which is normal.  Nerves prove that you are alive.  And that is always a good thing, hey?
Anyway, on that subject….lets now change it.
My name
Now, I suppose you’re wondering why I’m writing about my name.  Well, for a few reasons.  First, I find names fascinating; second, since my surname is going to change I thought I’d talk a bit about that and what I think it all means to me.  And third, I already had one name change in my life as I was adopted into my family.  
So, I’ll start with my name now.  Marly Catherine Walker.  I am a Walker by adoption, and Catherine is from my mother’s side of the family.  Incidentally, once I get married, my initials will remain the same.  MCW. Convenient, much?
There isn’t really a definitive definition of the name Marly.  It all depends on where you look.  In some places it says it is derived from the old English ‘Marlowe’ which means ‘lake meadow’ and on the other it is a place name in France.  Whatever the derivations I think there was only one main reason my parents chose that name for me, and it is that it sounded similar to my Chinese name: Man Yi.  
Makes sense, yes?  
Anyway, pretty easy name, right? Well, apart from the fact that almost everyone writes it with an ‘e’.  Haha. Sometimes I joke that I should just change it to ‘Marley’ for convenience.  But, Marly is my name and it belongs to me.  
As do all my nicknames, though often nicknames belong as much to the people who created them.  And I’ve surprisingly had quite a few over the years.  Though the ones that have stuck are Bob and Marlz/Marls.  
The others include: Mars Bar, Big Marlz, Chung Yummy Beans, Pluto, Marlzbean, Mars, Moolaa.  Some of them have cropped up again in my own usage for online usernames, which is another set of names that define me in some way or another.  But the two that I want to talk about are Bob and Marlz.  
Back in Year Six when I was on school camp, the other year six teacher, not my own, just started calling me Bob, for no apparent reason at all, except that was just his nature.  I don’t think I’ve told many people that it was a teacher who came up with that nickname.  But, now anyone reading this will know.  Haha.  
Then there’s Marlz.  Considering my name is already short, it’s not really a matter of shortening it like you would with other names.  So, Marlz just stuck.  I think it’s just an Aussie thing.  As much as Gary becomes Gazza, Barry becomes Bazza, Beryl becomes Bezza and Murray becomes Muzza.  So, Marly became Marlz.  And that’s it.  Not really profound.  
Anyway, I didn’t really mean to talk about my nicknames.  
In just over a month, I will no longer be a Walker.  So, I will have to start the process of changing all documentation to reflect that.  
The wife taking the husband’s name is to me a symbol of how the two become one in a marriage.  I will become part of a new family, a new partnership.  And that means so much to me.  
It’s interesting to note even in this day and age of extreme feminism, women are still happy to take their husband’s name.  Though I have also seen more women who keep their own name or even hyphenated family names.  I don’t know if there has been any statistical change in this, and it would be interesting to find out.  But, I personally could never imagine even wanting to keep my maiden name or hyphenating my name.  I mean, really… “Withey-Walker…or Walker-Withey”… That’s just weird.  Too many ‘ws’ for one thing.  
I’m not sure where I’m heading with this blog post to be honest.  It started off as a recap of the last month or two and ended with names.  
So, perhaps I will leave you with a couple of thoughts that I haven’t brought up already in this post.
Live life with a child-like appreciation.  
I think as adults we sometimes allow everyday life to get in the way of actually just appreciating what is around us.  Children don’t let the world get them down.  They explore the world with open minds and open hearts.  They sing out loud, not caring if people watch them, unless they revel in it.  It’s not until a well-meaning adult tells them that they should stop and not draw attention to themselves that they realise or think that it’s a problem.  
By that token…
Sing whenever and wherever you want…

For me, breaking out into song is natural.  As natural as breathing.  Song is everywhere, music and rhythm is in all of life, in all of nature, in our own heartbeats.  Sing a new song in your heart.  It will always be worth it.  
~~~~
If you got through this mini essay I give you kudos.  
God bless.