Tag: life

Posted in Blogging

2026…

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
2026 and what’s to come (thoughts on all these to come this year)

So. It’s been a while. My last post on this humble blog was in 2024. A whole year and a bit has passed since then and life has been keeping on keeping on.

I’ve had a lot of thoughts pass through my mind and done a bit of growing and I could spend so much time writing about many of those things, but at the same time I don’t want to bore you all.

Instead, I want to share some highlights of 2025, though it feels we’ve gone deep enough into 2026 that those don’t really matter so much anymore.

But here we are.

I turned 40 last year.

I went on my first cruise. I want to go on another one.

I watched Thunderbolts* and Superman multiple times in the cinema.

I met David Wenham.

We had multiple changes at work that taught me that I can navigate change when I have the right support networks.

I watched my baby brother get married to his best friend.

My parents downsized.

I stood by my bestie through her ups and downs.

I continued to grieve.

I learned more about myself – suspected ADHD diagnosis. Definitely neurodivergent in some form or another.

We welcomed a new pastor to my church.

I started to seriously think about how I want to continue advocating for adoptees on social media, and ensure I come from my personal experience.

This list could become exhaustive. So, I’ll stop here.

But I want to say this, 2026 is another year and we’re already two months in. I’m currently observing Lent in my own way, the period leading up to Easter, and I’m slowly getting into study mode as I am completing my Diploma in Early Childhood Education and Care.

And a lot more is to come…

Posted in adoptee, Adoptee Thoughts, Blogging, life, life update

Reclaiming my mother tongue

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
Saying my Chinese (Cantonese) name.

我叫鍾敏儀. Ngo5 giu3 Chung Man Yee.

“I am called, Chung Man Yee.”

When I was born, I was given the name Chung Man Yee.

When I was adopted my name was changed. To Marly. I love this name, it is the name I grew up with. But the first three years of my life I was known by the Cantonese name, Man Yee. Now I reclaim my original name, not legally, but in my heart. I will always be Marly. But I am also, Man Yee.

I want to relearn my mother tongue. Cantonese (廣東話 gwong2 dung1 waa2) and am in the very early days of exploring the possibilities available for me to learn.

I tend to procrastinate on the things I want to do due to my energy levels. I could lay out all the reasons for not starting on this journey but at the root of it is a fear of not being able to succeed in this endeavour. Of not being able to speak the language and then not connecting with it. That’s part of it, but the truth is time is a big factor and also the many other activities I want to engage in.

I want to share my story through videos on TikTok, I want to write fanfiction, I want to listen to good music and I want to spend time with my friends. Or read a good book or play video games… I don’t have the discipline to sit and do something unless I have no choice. But because learning a new language is a choice… it’s hard to shift it to a need. Even though part of me feels that it is a need.

I do know it is something I will do. It’s just having the energy and time to do so. I have the tools at my disposal. So, that’s not the issue.

We’ll see where this journey goes.

Posted in Blogging

Birth Fathers

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Is there a reason we fantasise more about birth fathers than birth mothers?

I think there is. Adoptees often have no information on their paternal history as often our mothers were not married or were even children themselves when they gave birth to us.

I know I sometimes had an idealised version of what my birth father might have been like.

But now as an adult I have even fictionalised my birth father in my roleplay with my online friend.

That’s a trauma response, right? 🙃

His name is Shen and he is a timekeeper because of course he is 😅.

He travels through time so he has no time to stay with my birth mother or have anything to do with me.

He knows about me though. Which is every adoptees wish, right? That our birth fathers know that we exist.

Also we kinda turned him into an asshole who doesn’t believe in messing with time… even though he tried to mess with our time.

So yeah.

Birth fathers. Amirite?

Posted in Blogging

Life

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Life is all about discovering who we are. That’s the crux of it.

It isn’t about success, it isn’t about competition. Sure those things come into play, but what life really is, is a journey to discovering where we belong, who we want to be and who we are becoming.

Everything else is just the set in which we play this out.

Posted in Adoptee Thoughts, Blogging, blogging the important stuff

What is Culture?

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Originally written for a writing course on IG, inspired by Lin-Manuel Miranda

Writing about my culture is a tricky activity to do. Because as an international transracial adoptee I’ve lost a lot of my original birth culture (Hong Kong Chinese). I am by no means bitter about this as I love the culture I’ve been raised in…but, this does raise a question.

What is Australian culture? I know outsiders might say something like riding kangaroos and wrestling crocodiles a la Steve Irwin. Others might say, friendly quokka selfies – Western Australian specific. Others might say the Ocker Aussie, with a broad accent like Crocodile Dundee. Some might say drinking a beer and watching cricket or Aussie Rules Football. Many would say we are more laidback than other cultures.

Also, importantly we cannot ignore the many Aboriginal peoples and their differing cultures as well. Acknowledging them is essential.

But for me? And my own family culture raised by white Australians? Well, I love cricket and Aussie rules football. I have a standard Aussie accent (so neither broad nor cultivated). I like Chinese food. We celebrated Lunar New Year when I was a child so that we could try and explore some of my birth culture. But, I don’t speak Mandarin or Cantonese (my native tongue), and I was raised Christian and that has definitely impacted my culture. Not in a negative or positive way. Just in ways that formed me as a person.

I am an Australian citizen. I am Chinese born, but have the world view of an Anglo-Celtic Christian raised in a country with more opportunities that I would’ve had in Hong Kong.

But, I know that this doesn’t mean my life now is better than what I might have had if my birth mother had kept me.

Just a different one.

Posted in Blogging, poetry

Another Address

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Heart ache

Memories

Flashes of joy like a movie reel

Laughing about food choices

Laughing when friends see

what we don’t see

Love crept up on us

I wouldn’t have it any other way

Wasn’t looking

But you came and held my heart

And I held yours

Love

Grief

What is that?

What defines that?

Promises of staying

in health and sickness

I meant it

You didn’t quite believe it

But I stayed.

And you went home.

Another address

Real life

We are but strangers in this world

Yearning for our true home.

You have reached that place

I know where you are

That brings peace.

I still have much to do

I am not finished yet

God willing

I will do all that He has for me to do

Posted in adoptee, Australian, Blogging, blogging the important stuff, film review, I don't write reviews, life, movies, my life, my thoughts, my writing, personal, Reflections

Being an Asian Adoptee in the Western World

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Or: My journey as a Chinese born Australian who doesn’t see herself as Asian but, after seeing Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, I realise a part of me deep down still has some strong connection to my Chinese roots.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Gif created by me. Credit: Marvel Studios)

That is one heck of a subtitle, hey? But, this is how I felt after watching this new entry into Phase Four of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

This is not going to be a typical review, and there will also be no major spoilers (probably), but fair warning I will be gushing a lot as my love for this film surpasses any other MCU film. Also, this post will most likely be all over the place. So please bear with me.

Continue reading “Being an Asian Adoptee in the Western World” →
Posted in 2018, Blogging

This Was 2018

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

It’s December. Three sleeps until Christmas. The joy of the season sits upon my heart, but with a depth of sorrow that I didn’t think I would experience so soon in my life. My husband, Mark, passed way in early November after three years of marriage. A time that I will never regret. He was one of the best people to ever walk into my life, and I am ever grateful to God that He brought us together. Continue reading “This Was 2018” →