Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, my writing

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Day 3

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
What kind of person attracts you?

Attraction is a complex thing, because it includes many different emotions.  Obviously society seems hung up on sexual attraction and how people respond to the opposite or same-sex, and my answer to what kind of person attracts me in that sense is probably many-fold.
In hindsight, I’d have to say from face value someone who isn’t Asian (for anyone who doesn’t know, I’m Chinese born Australian), someone who is taller than me, someone who has a personality that matches mine somewhat.  Someone who is willing to allow me to be myself and not want to change me.  And someone who loves God.
And I’m blessed to have that one person in my life that fits all that.  
Moving onto general attraction though.  Because we can describe the way we make friends and acquaintances in similar ways.  We are attracted to people platonically as well and that’s a more difficult thing to explain.  
But then again, perhaps not.
I’m attracted to people who share common morals, values and beliefs; people who have a sense of humour; people who love God and are passionate about serving Him.  People who can sing are a bonus 😉 
All my friends and acquaintances these days fit the bill.  So, I’m blessed in that way.  🙂 

Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, personal, Writing

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Day 2

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

How have you changed in the past 2 years?


Taking stock of where I’m at right at this moment, compared to last year, is quite enlightening.  I feel a little more confident and definitely a lot happier and content than I was at the same time in 2013.  And definitely more so than I was at the same time in 2014.
I’ve grown closer to God as well, and my vision of the future, at least as far as the next year is concerned, has a lot more clarity than before.  
Sounds vague, hey?  Well, to put it in a nutshell: I’ve gotten closer to God and am more content than I was two years ago. Because as we all know happiness is fleeting.  True joy is everlasting.  



Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, personal, Writing

30 Day Blogging Chalłenge – Day 1

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
I haven’t blogged in a while, so I figured I would remedy that by starting a 30 day challenge.  So, without further ado… 


Day 1


Weird things you do when you’re alone


This is something I haven’t given much thought to; however, putting my mind to it there are several things that I do that some people may find odd.  
1.  I read books out loud.  I’m currently reading James Dashner’s The Maze Runner and I just read it out loud.  Not to anyone, remember this is something I do when I’m alone.  I remember mum catching me out reading books out loud when I was a teen and she told me to stop because it was silly and that no one reads books out loud.  However, I like doing it for some reason…not sure why?  Perhaps I like hearing myself using different tones of voice depending on how I interpret the writing, or dialogue.   Who knows.
2.  I wander around my apartment.  Not for any particular reason.  I just do.  
3.  This one is connected to number two, sort of.  An extension of it, I guess.  I turn on my iPod, putting my earbuds in and pace around my living room, telling myself stories in my head.  Most of the stories feature the Rebels of Scotland who are my own creation.  But, always to music.  This probably means something.  Maybe I should just bite the bullet and write about The Rebels.  I do know them the best after EP and the rest.
4.  I sometimes stand in the middle of my living room.  Doing nothing.  Just standing there.
5.  I will sometimes sit in front of my laptop after my shower with just my towel wrapped around my waist.
6.  The last thing I do that some may consider weird, and that I know is really a bad habit, is that I will sit and pick the skin on my hands and feet.…and I can waste hours of time doing that…. Without even realising.  It is kind of a problem.  
Posted in film review, FSoG, movies, my thoughts, my writing

Fifty Shades of Grey: The Movie Everyone Has an Opinion On.

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
“Because I’m Fifty Shades of fucked up.”
This quote somewhere in the middle of the movie when Ana, (played by Dakota Johnson) is probing Christian (played by Jamie Dornan) as to why his relationships are the way they are, basically sums up Christian’s whole character.  And explains why he wants to do women the way he does.  It also basically sums up the whole movie.
This is not a movie that can be taken seriously.  From the get go, it is flawed.  From the acting to the flow, it is as if the producer didn’t have the luxury of really getting the length and tone that the story needed to do the book justice.  Granted, turning a first person novel into a believable script for the big screen isn’t easy. Twilight, which FSoG was originally a fanfiction of – and it showed, a lot – also suffered from this not so easy transition. 
The character development was also of some concern as it didn’t give you time to really get to know Christian or Ana.  It just threw you straight into the story, and for those who haven’t read the books this doesn’t help endear them to the characters and their predicaments. 
Dakota’s portrayal of Ana did hit the sweet spot in places, her feistiness and willingness to stand up for herself came through to the point where Christian is flummoxed by her behaviour and can’t quite handle it.  Jamie’s portrayal of Christian was quite wooden to begin with but I subscribe this to the pacing of the film and the fact that a majority of the dialogue was lifted straight from the text of the book and didn’t quite fit the pacing of the film.  He did become more believable as the movie progressed. 
The supporting cast/characters were all two dimensional and served only as minimal support; I was particularly disappointed by the portrayal of Taylor who was one of my favourite’s in the book.
Without giving anything away, the more controversial scenes in the movie, for want of an apt description, were quite tame. 
The biggest thing that I did get from it though was that there was no abuse.  At least not when it came to the physical side of things.  Ana consented to everything he did to her.  She even tells Christian to do his worst so she can make her decision.  In fact I think the movie was more explicit than the book in showing that Ana wasn’t going to submit to him and that she had the control.
Topping from the bottom.
There were some flags of emotional abuse from Christian when he’s attempting to pursue her, but Ana’s naivety in some sense protected her from that.  And, as I’ve read the books and actually know where Christian is coming from, it’s understandable that he comes across that way. 
Of course, due to the pacing of the movie it doesn’t give any due consideration to the development of Ana and Christian’s relationship; however, I don’t really understand all the hype against the movie from media and other groups who have vocally been so negative about it. 
It’s honestly not that bad.  It may be triggering for some people, I will grant that, but it’s definitely not worth all the vitriol that’s been cast its way.  Yes, it doesn’t portray a healthy relationship; yes I agree it’s not what people should hold up as an example of a healthy BDSM relationship, but where Christian is coming from it makes complete sense. 
To be fair the movie’s biggest problem was that it was not made well.  It had a ‘teen movie/b-grade’ vibe to it and I was left feeling that it was one of those movies that would normally be forgotten in the annals of time, except for its controversial subject matter.  And it honestly just reminded me of Twilight most of the time.  Ironic that. 
Still, here’s my advice. If you want to watch the movie, go watch it and don’t let people tell you not to for whatever reason.
Make your own informed opinion on the movie.  Then you can join the discourse on what the movie is portraying and what it’s not. 
I don’t give ratings for movies usually, but I give it a 3/5 for trying. 

Suggestion:  Read all three books to understand the story better.  
Posted in 2014, film review, I don't write reviews, movies, my thoughts, stephen hawking, the theory of everything

The Theory of Everything: Not a Movie Review

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
L-R: Stephen Hawking, Jane Wilde, Eddie Redmayne [Hawking], Felicity Jones [Jane]

I don’t write reviews.  Dry, objective articles about movies, music, books.  I write opinion pieces.  Pure opinion, with a smattering of facts.  Basically I write my thoughts.  Because, I have this theory.  I can’t write what everyone is thinking, and often reviews don’t reflect what people will actually end up thinking.

I avoid reading reviews of movies that I’m planning to watch regardless of whether they are good or bad, at least until after I’ve watched the movie.  For me, I want to get my own impressions rather than letting what others think dictate my watching experience.

So, in light of that.  Here are my, probably, highly biased thoughts on The Theory of Everything.

1.  The score.  The musical score.  When a movie soundtrack is all original score and doesn’t have popular music I often find that a lot more effective.  And this movie was no exception.  Johann Johannsson’s original score [which won the film best original score at the Golden Globes] [wikipedia] helps draw the audience into the story; I definitely reacted to the music, coupled with the scenes, in a visceral way.  One of the best musical scores I’ve heard in quite some time.

2.  The story.  I truly related to the story.  Not in that my life is the same.  On a much deeper level.  It’s based on the book written by Jane Wilde Hawking, Travelling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen.  The movie explores their journey together through all the challenges that came their way.  I have always respected and admired Stephen Hawking’s contribution to science.  Even though his views on religion have been polarising.  But, as a fellow human being I am truly inspired by his human spirit and the fact that he achieved so much, despite the challenges.  And the fact that Jane stood by him for so long.

3.  The actors.  Eddie Redmayne was an inspired choice for the role of Hawking.  I already thought he was a pretty good actor, as I’ve watched him in Les Miserables and Birdsong.  However, I believe his portrayal of Hawking has lifted him into the echelons of the greats.  Premature, perhaps?  But, he won a Golden Globe for best actor and is nominated for an Oscar for the same.

Felicity Jones as Jane Wilde.  I haven’t seen much of her and I don’t know much about Jane Wilde, however, I felt that I could connect with her character and felt all her frustrations and her hope and her joys through the whole movie.  And her faith.

David Thewlis as Eddie’s Professor and then colleague.  It was funny seeing him out of the Harry Potter context, but at the same time refreshingly British.  Still playing a Professor mentor type character.

Other supporting roles:  Charlie Cox as Jonathan Jones [Jane’s second husband].  Jonathan was one of those characters you can’t help but love.  He was an imperfect human as we all are, but he had a serving heart, and though it was obvious that he was falling in love with Jane, he also became a very good friend to Stephen, so I never got mad when Jane ended going to him.  That whole dynamic between the three of them made sense, especially after Hawking’s nurse, Elaine, came into the picture.  After all, Jonathan shared the same faith as Jane.  And for Jane to stick it out so long with Stephen is testimony in and of itself.

Of course, there is most definitely more to that story as is the case with any movie from book/true life story.  But, I’ll get back to that.**

4.  The science vs religion aspect.  This was treated fairly in the movie.  It is known by most people that Hawking is an atheist, perhaps not as vocal as the Zoologist Richard Dawkins, but due to the nature of Hawking’s studies nonetheless pointed.  Considering Jane’s own faith the movie could have dissolved into a battle between atheism and religion, but that was not the point of the tale being told.

Other thoughts

Okay…all of that up there still sounded kind of like a review.  So, here’s something else.

This was such an amazing movie.  It moved me to tears.  The music, the message, and the acting.  I saw it with my boyfriend and there were moments where it just reminded me of our relationship.

I will be seeing it again next weekend, so I may write a follow up post, but go and see it.  It is definitely a movie worth seeing.  Put aside any prejudices you may have because of religion or personal views of the debate between science and religion, because this movie is not about that.

This a story of love, courage, perseverance and defeating the odds.  It’s a movie about a couple who experienced massive highs and devastating lows.

And, above all else, it’s a story about hope.  


**Next post…

Posted in childcare, life, my thoughts, personal, work

Reflections of Myself

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Listening to:  Encounter – Riverview Worship
Mood:  Awake, content, happy

I’ve had this thought:  Taking initiative is difficult for me.  Unless it comes to direct interaction with the children at work.  I’m more of a follower and thrive when being directed by others.

I had a big win the other day.  I was settling a child to sleep, and by reading a book that he chose he eventually just dropped off to sleep.  Sleep time can be difficult; the key is to remain calm and ‘low’ as it helps to settle the children down.  Especially if they are still spending their energy.

I think allowing the children to make choices and to give us cues as to when they are tired and being flexible with rest times works.  Rather than having strict rest times.  Obviously, once we have more children that may need to be altered, but while we have low numbers and the children we have are getting used to the centre it has worked quite well.

I am still super excited about heading to work each day, and I pray that this continues.  I know there will be down days; every job has that.  However, I am excited for the possibilities and helping my centre grow and become everything it can be for the community it aims to serve.

This is my centre and I’m proud of where we are and where we’re heading and absolutely blessed and feel that it is such a privilege to be part of such an important journey.

I still feel I have more to offer and just need to figure out what that is.  I’m not artistically inclined and sometimes it takes time for me to come up with ideas for programming, or abstract thinking.  I feel that comes back to the fact that I have a ‘follow the leader’ approach to life.

Give me a task to do and I’ll set my heart and mind to it.

Being left to my own devices I often flounder and will just stick to the easy route of allowing spontaneity to ensue.

This also leads to me appearing lazy; but, I’m far from it.  I’m usually just off in my own little world, which is always busy.  If I could write everything that was going on in my mind on any given day, I’d probably fill pages and pages…even write a book in a day.

So, just because I may look like I’m sitting around doing nothing, doesn’t mean I’m not actively engaging with the environment I’m in.

I guess children are like that as well.

I’ve learned from experience that a child who is sitting by themselves with nothing at hand doesn’t necessarily need or want attention.  Sometimes they are just processing their environment and will eventually make a decision as to what/how they want to engage.

Of course, there will come a time when some encouragement or prompting is welcomed, but this often depends on duration and other factors.  But, allowing children to make their own choices is important in building independence and teaching them how to navigate their world.

It’s how they learn.  It’s how we all learn.

We never stop learning and growing.

And, reflection is a big part of that.  So, here’s my first one for the year.  🙂

Posted in Daniel McTavish, fiction, first person pov, my writing

The Uprising – Chapter Three – Wish

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
I asked Melissa if she could shuffle my schedule around. Told her there was somebody I needed to see. I could see the questions in her eyes, but was grateful she didn’t pry. Though, I could’ve told her…she knew Elliott after all.

Everyone knew him. The quiet, ruthless guy who got the job done.

I know I’ve spoken about him before. But, there is this thing you need to understand about Elliott. He was always where I needed him to be. In the down times, in the times of celebration. Just there. Like some kind of shadow. Even when I least expected him to be available. Even when it would’ve been better for him if he wasn’t around.

But, coming back to what Lachlan said to me, ‘trust your instincts; those words were churning around my mind, and giving me a headache. I needed to deal with it.

Being honest with myself was a start, right? The system angered me. The law made me despondent for the future prospects of my home. None of it made any real sense; the ban on any form of music. It was a sad state of affairs, considering almost everyone had forgotten the reasons behind the ban. Except for Elliott…he remembered.

“Elliott?” He was down in the cafeteria for a change, sans firearms and making short work of a couple of sandwiches.

He glanced up on hearing my voice, putting down the sandwich that was half eaten already. He must’ve seen something on my face, because instead of making some wisecrack he stood and tugged me into a hard embrace.

“I’m okay…” I said, “They haven’t…”

Elliott released me, brow furrowing as he said, “They’re going to. Then where will you be?”

I sighed, taking the seat next to him. “He has to face the consequences of his actions.”

“You don’t agree with that.”

I twisted my lips. “Everyone’s assuming that, lately.”

“You don’t. I know you.” His pointed look was too close.

Sighing, I leaned back on the chair. “Lachlan said much the same.” I looked sideways at him. “He hasn’t done anything that warrants execution.”

Elliott nodded as he took a swig of his beer. “So, what’s the deal then?”

I started shaking my head; the scowl he sent my way gave me pause, the seed of a thought planted in my mind. I didn’t know whether I wanted to put words to it, though. It was dangerous thinking. But, I couldn’t deal with Lachlan’s execution. And if I could do something about it…

Who was I kidding? I was down here, seeing Elliott, for a reason. Apart from him being the main bounty hunter in the City, he also had a few other tricks up his sleeve. Working under the radar was the norm for him, and the City turned a blind eye. That could work for me.

“By the way, thanks for ditching me,” Elliott said, drawing my attention back to him.

“What?”

He picked at the cheese on his plate. “I had to deal with the idiots on my own. Pips was out of it.”

Right. His brother. Crap, I was meant to be there for him. Though I figured I could be excused, since I had Lachlan to worry about. I murmured an apology. He waved me off.

“Come over and buy us drinks,” he said, with a flash of teeth.

My lips twitched, because it was so like him to think that was a good way to apologise for something. He never asked for much. Gave a lot. Considering his profession maybe that wasn’t so surprising.

Elliott said, “You have a break, right?”

“Let me check with Melissa.”

Elliott, laughing, said, “She’s not your mother, Danny. Just come over.”

I nodded. “We’ll see.”

“Yeah. So, what’re you going to do about Lachie?”

Turning away from him, I scanned the cafeteria, noting that we were the only people present. In hindsight, Elliott must have chosen this particular time to be down here. No one else around to hear us. And, he had the patience of a saint. I knew he’d wait me out, no matter how long it took for me to get my head in the game. Which, if I was being honest with myself, was only a matter of flicking a switch in my mind.

Easier said than done, though.

Being part of The Creed since my teens, I had a lot of stuff ingrained in me that even if I stopped agreeing with it, forcing myself to act in contradiction to my training would be difficult.

“I’m not one to defy the status quo,” I said, breaking the quiet that started setting in. Elliott’s answering snort set me on edge. “Elliott. I’m really not.”

Elliott’s eyebrows twitched. “If that’s the case, Tav, you should get up and walk away.”

I didn’t move, instead pulled out my phone to switch it off, coming to a decision. “I need you.”

I think if I was the type to make wishes, now would be the time that a wish was granted. In hindsight, Elliott had probably been waiting a long time for me to get to this point. To come see him, and admit that there was something fundamentally wrong with our situation.

Becoming the T-One…that was a huge thing for me; maybe more so, considering that placed a lot of power in my hands and the ability to change things. Even with all the risks involved…

Elliott tilted his head, brows furrowed. “Tell me.”

Posted in 2014, Reflections

The final leg of the year

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Christmas time.  A time for reflection. And not long after that until we hit the New Year.  And what a year it has been for me.

Been a lot of ups and downs but, that’s what every year has right?  So, without further ado, let’s have a recap of my year.
January

New Year 2014 brought a sense of expectancy and fresh new things as I began my third year at my work place. 
Australia Day at work with the kids was a highlight.  And spending time with Christian friends was and had been throughout the year, a huge highlight.

Shut Up by Simple Plan was my anthem this month.  For reasons that I will not go into.

February

This month I became extremely reflective of my work life, I wasn’t feeling happy, but I focused on God more.

Mum and Dad went to the UK.  Mum’s been working on the family tree on hers and dad’s sides.  They also went because dad had some conference or something he was doing.

I spent more time with Mum, we even went dress shopping.

March

One of my friends got married this month and had a beautiful outdoor wedding, and then a simple reception with family and friends.

Lent this year I gave up Simple Plan.  That was difficult, but as you know how much I love the band it held a lot of significance for me.  [I didn’t last the whole of Lent, but it was a good effort].

I hurt my back at work and had to take a lot of time off work.  Think that’s where all my sick leave went…definitely taught me a lot of patience and to lean more into God.

I also set out to start managing my money better.  That’s still a work in progress.

April

Easter as always an important date on my Calendar.  Marked it with services at Riverview.

Also, ANZAC Day was a highlight.  Went to my first Dawn Service.  Moving, beautiful and cold.  Definitely something I will continue doing if I am able.

May

Mother’s Day was the only thing of note this month, and planning for Hillsong Conference.

June

This month went by in a blur.  I think the main focus was my excitement for Hillsong.

The end of this month was my first year anniversary of being out of home.  An accomplishment.  I took to living out of home like a duck to water.  Though I do go home at least once a week for dinner with the parents.

July

Straight up, Hillsong Conference was the highlight of the month.

Saw The Lion King musical while we were in Sydney as well.

August
Marked my three year anniversary at work. 
September/October
I can’t really remember what happened these two months that wasn’t upsetting…I left my job but at the same time gained perspective in my life and my faith in God grew.

November 
Ten years of being a Simple Plan fan on the first of this month.  I wrote a big tribute about that.  Time flies, hey?
December
The best month this year as it included Christmas and I met someone special 😀 
Bring on 2015!

Posted in fiction, first person pov, my writing

The Uprising – Chapter Two – Woods

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

The Astor, Maximum Security Penitentiary. Grimmest place in Valoren City. Built in the sixties to house every kind of criminal imaginable. The whole place is maximum security. Under lockdown every night and the prisoners are kept in tiny cells that you couldn’t even swing a cat in.

The rules are stringent. There’s no room for leniency in this prison. The law is tough on those who are incarcerated. They lose all their rights when they step inside this place.

To be honest it gets me down.

This whole gig does.

But, it’s all I know.

“Commander?” Melissa.

Let me tell you about Melissa Briar. Honour roll student at Valoren City College. Graduated with a GPA of 4.0. Big chip on her shoulder. Blonde. Not in that way, see Honour roll student point above. Pouty lips, bedroom eyes. Though I’d never try getting her into bed. Her father would shoot anyone who tried that on. Takes shit from no one. Great at getting my shit together. Nothing like her father.

Doesn’t like me.

I nodded to her as she met me at the check-in point. She looked sharp as usual, her blouse looking crisp and ironed. Yes, I noticed that, not a crime is it? I iron my shirts. Being neat is important.

“What’s the plan?”

She lifted an eyebrow before scanning the clipboard that she was holding. “You get to speak with Prisoner seventy-seven before his last rites are read to him.”

Clenching my jaw, I said, “I was meant to be the one to make the decision regarding his sentencing.”

Melissa’s eyes actually softened as she said, “The General thought it best you didn’t.” It was unsettling to say the least that her father would think that. I wasn’t one to let people see my weaknesses. But, considering Lachlan was now on death row…

Squaring my shoulders and nodding to her, I made my way to the interrogation chamber.

Lachlan was already there. I paused at the door, looking through the one-way window. He didn’t look worried, in fact he was gazing up at the ceiling, one leg casually crossed across the other.

Pushing open the door, I strode into the room, expecting him to look my way. But, his gaze didn’t shift.

“G’day, Tav,” he said, his eyes flickering toward the mirror on the wall. It was the one-way window; we both knew that. Melissa would be on the other side, monitoring our conversation.

I sat on the edge of the desk, without speaking. I wanted him to look at me. Stupid, really. But, it wasn’t as if I wanted us to be in this position. If I could guess his motivation…if he’d tell me what it was he actually did. Because, you can bet whatever he was charged with wasn’t the full story…

“I want out of the City.”

I blinked. “Come again?”

Lachlan slewed his eyes in my direction. “I wasn’t planning on getting arrested, Tav. Was just trying to earn a buck or two so I could get out of here.” He sighed, leaning forward to tug at his shoelaces. “You shouldn’t have to be witness to this.”

“I’m the T-One now,” I said, brow furrowing.

Lachlan slapped his hand against his thigh and said, “Screw that. They’re going to inject me with poison. You shouldn’t have to see that.” I shifted to avoid his laser-glare.

“I’ve seen plenty of executions.” As if that helped any. Lachlan was…

“We’ve known each other a long time, mate,” he said. “Remember that big eucalyptus I tried to climb back when we were kids?”

I nodded; that was indicative of how crazy we were back then. Running around, getting into trouble as kids did. Not a care in the world. But, we were innocent back then. We let the adults do the worrying. That was us now, though. Adults…in control of our lives. Hah.

“You broke both your arms, you idiot.”

“You broke your leg.”

“Yes. Well. That was then, Mr Douglas. This is where we are right now.” I had to get this back on a more formal footing. “I want to know what the Hell you thought you were doing.”

One of those deafening silences filled the space then. It was unnerving. I had to break it.

“Lachlan…”

His eyes were dark when they met mine. “This society’s gone to the dogs, Daniel. They might as well just shoot everybody. I mean, have you ever wondered what’s missing?”

“What’s missing?”

“Yes,” Lachlan said with a brittle smile. “Look. How do we celebrate things?”

I blinked. “Uh…we hold a gathering and give a few speeches, and toasts…”

“Right. Is it joyous?”

“Celebrations are happy occasions. Yes.”

Lachlan shook his head. “That’s not what I’m asking, Tav. Is there joy? I don’t mean everyone smiling and clapping politely. I mean…people going crazy. Jumping, laughing, dancing…”

My stomach clenched, because I knew what he was getting at; didn’t want to admit it, but I knew. “Mr Douglas, you are walking a fine line…” I tried to keep my tone hard. He wasn’t even fazed, that glare still evident.

“Music, Daniel. Is there any music?”

I stood at the challenge in his voice. “Lachlan Douglas, it is bad enough you’re going to be executed, I do not need to hear this.”

He leaned back on the chair, tilting his chin up, lips drawn as white lines etched themselves on either side of his nose. “You know it’s the right question, Tav.”

My hands shook; clenching them didn’t help. “Music is forbidden in the City, Lachlan.”

His lips twitched upwards, as he said, “Guess you can figure out what I was doing then, you wanker.”

Slamming my hand down on the desk, I made myself jump; Lachlan jerked on the chair, pupils dilating.

“Do you think this is a joke, Lachlan? They’re going to kill you. I can’t…” My words ran out. I couldn’t stand here and watch him act as if everything was fine and that he wasn’t going to die in less than a day or so. Sure, he was brave. Bravest person I knew, considering. But, even he had to be scared.

Lachlan’s voice was softer when he spoke again, so I had to stop my internal monologue to hear what he said. “I’m pretty damn serious, something’s gotta give. We can’t keep going the way we are.”

“How do you mean?”

“I’ve been trying to make people aware of what’s really going on. The oppression. The keeping down of the man. Because, that’s what it’s really all about.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “Not about music?”

Lachlan’s answering snort was enough of a response to that question, but he said, explaining, “Banning music was a way to control the citizens. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“And, you don’t agree with that.” Not a question.

“Neither do you, Commander.”

Pinching at the bridge of my nose, I didn’t respond to his statement. “Do you have anything you want to say, before…?”

“Before I kick the bucket?” Lachlan lifted his shoulders. “I wanted to get out into the woods.”

“What?”

“Out of the City, Tav. See the rest of the world. Guess I won’t get to do that now.”

I frowned. “No one’s allowed-”

“Outside the City walls. I know that.” His eyes seemed to glaze over, as if he were looking right through me.

Something inside of me bled for him. Lachlan wasn’t one for being cooped up like a chicken in a pen. And, I didn’t mean just being here in prison. I don’t think Valoren City was big enough for him. But, he was born here, as was every other citizen. Then we all worked here until we died. That was just the way things were. No one ever left the City.

However, if there was anyone likely to try it…

I leaned forward, murmuring low so Melissa wouldn’t hear, “Would you have tried to breach the walls?”

The look he gave me chilled me to the bone. His eyes darkened and his words were clipped as he answered.

“I was always planning on leaving here. Doesn’t matter to me how it happens.”

Which meant only one thing. He was resigned to his fate. And wasn’t that just a kick in the teeth. Here I was, unable to accept that my friend was about to die. And he didn’t even care.

“Lachlan…”

He sat up straight, bracing his hands on his knees. “You know what I wanna say?”

“What?” I said as I prepared to leave the room.

“Trust your instincts, Tav.”

Posted in 2014, Best of..., my thoughts

Best of…2014

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
Book of the year:  We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves Karen J. Fowler
Album of the year:  Greetings From California, The Madden Brothers
Song of the year:  Brother, (Greetings From California), The Madden Brothers
Worship Album of the year: No Other Name – Hillsong Worship
Worship song of the year: This I Believe – Hillsong Worship
Concert of the year: The Madden Brothers’ Greeting From California Tour, Crown Theatre, Perth, 7th November
Concert moment: The Madden Brothers’ performing Hotel California
Movie of the year: Guardians of the Galaxy/The Maze Runner/Interstellar
Movie Character of the year: Newt [The Maze Runner – Thomas Brodie-Sangster]
TV Show of the year: Hawaii Five-0 [even though it’s not really on Aussie TV anymore…]
TV Character of the year: Steve McGarrett [Alex O’Loughlin] and Captain Grover [Chi McBride]
Personal moments: Going to Hillsong Conference with Katie/Starting my original fiction
Milestones: Scored a new job.  Starts next year.
Memorable hashtags: #ripphilliphughes #408 #illridewithyou #sydneysiege