Category: Blogging

Posted in 30 day blogging, Blogging, July blogging, my thoughts

July Blog challenge – Days 8/9

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
How do you invision your life being in 5 years?

Great question.  Now that I’m getting married in less than three months I think it would be safe to say that in 5 years I will be content in a secure and loving marriage with the man God brought into my life.  And we may very well have children.  Or at least one child.  
And Mark will have his dream of a cafe that makes a difference up and running and I will be working with children in some capacity or other.  That’s what I invision.  God willing.
What’s your food philosophy?

What the heck is a good philosophy?
I eat when I’m hungry and that’s about it.  I try to eat a balanced diet but it can be difficult.  And I don’t believe in dieting. Everything in moderation is good.  Even chocolate. 
Oh and I could not ever become a vegetarian.  
Posted in Blogging, July, my thoughts

July 30 day blog challenge – Day 7

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
If you could live any time period, when would it be and why?

Wow, that’s an interesting question.  I honestly think I’d choose my own time period because though the past fascinates me I think we’re better off overall now.  Sure that may seem like a cop out to the question but I’m just being honest. 
Though maybe I’d choose to be born in the 70s and grow up in the 80s.  Rather than in the 90s.  Just because it was before all the technological advances really hit.  
Posted in 30 day blogging, Blogging, July, my thoughts

July 30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 6

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
If you could spend 15 minutes with any celebrity, who would it be and why? 

Tough question, because in a way I’ve already spent more than 15 minutes with a celebrity but then again I don’t really consider the guys in Simple Plan as celebrities.
So, maybe I would say Alex O’Loughlin of Hawaii Five-0 because he’s my favourite Aussie Actor and I would want to pick his brain about Five-0 and being an Aussie in  a U.S. dominated entertainment industry.  
Also, because I’ve got a tiny crush on him.  I cannot lie.  Haha.  
Oh and I want to know whether he prefers AFL or cricket.  😉 
Posted in adoptee, adoption, Blogging, family is everything, my thoughts, personal, World adoption day

Who I Am: Being Adopted

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

I’m not asking “who am I?” Because I think I know myself well enough now to tell you who I am.

I don’t think we ever know ourselves completely, but as the kind of person who tends to think a lot, I think I can explain myself at least a little.  
Where to start, though?  
I was born in Hong Kong thirty years ago.  My mother was practically a school girl, seventeen and still at home with her parents. Being born out of wedlock it was admirable that my birth mother and my pawpaw tried to raise me even still. 
It was actually because I became seriously ill that they had to give me up. 
I was placed in an orphanage, the Po Leung Kuk, and due to circumstances out of their control I was there for three years.  I like to believe that it was all part of God’s plan and timing.  
To explain my view further, my parents, Alison and Bruce, applied for adoption and the day I was born was the day they were approved.  Bear in mind, they didn’t know I existed at that time.  They didn’t find out about me until I was 2 1/2ish.  
That’s definitely God’s doing. 
Anyway to cut a long story short, mum and dad picked me up on my third birthday and took me home to Melbourne, where I lived for seven years. 


I had some great experiences while living there. Made lasting friendships through primary school and church.

I went to Presbyterian Ladies College from Prep to Grade five. I have vague and vivid memories from my time at the school. Some good, some embarrassing. 

I remember getting into trouble for poking my tongue out at my then best friend Michelle and having to sit outside the office. I remember sitting on the stands during swimming when I was not well enough to swim talking to a friend who also wasn’t swimming. I remember playing “first is worst, second is best” when lining up to get back into class. I remember Mr Law (my year 3 teacher who was captain of North Melbourne kangaroos in the early 90s).  I remember playing with my toy horses and using the partition in my lunch box as a fence.

I remember the bully two years ahead of us, Hangman. I remember playing Mother May I on the steps. Remember going to the wrong class and being totally embarrassed. This could be where my anxiety in speaking out could’ve stemmed from. 

I remember having flute lessons and having to walk over to the senior school. I remember the under croft. I remember…

It’s amazing what one can remember, though I don’t know if these are true memories or ones that I was told about by other people. 

From church – my home church then was Donvale Presbyterian Church – I remember the old hall. I can picture it in my head, but I can’t really describe it. I remember people’s faces but I can’t remember names. Well, not all of them. I can’t picture the old church building, though as it looks very different now. It’s over fifty years old, the church. 

And then there was my horse riding, and jazz ballet and tap that I did for a year. The latter, not the former.

So many memories of Melbourne; of my childhood.  They were important years in forming who I am today.  Though I’ve lived in both Townsville and Perth longer than I lived there.  

We also adopted my younger brother in this time 
And I met my birth mother.

We moved to Townsville in 1996, and I feel I remember more of the time we lived there than in Melbourne.  I formed few lasting friendships (Sarah came to my wedding this year) and for the first few years we were part of a group of families who were all adoptees/adoptive.  
It was great to be able to be part of a group of people who had shared stories. I wonder what happened to those families?  
In this period, we went back to Hong Kong to meet my birth mother again and also to meet my brother’s birth mother.  
On a related tangent, I think it’s absolutely amazing that my parents were able to connect me with my birth mother.  My adoption was a closed one, which meant that it wasn’t actually supposed to be allowed for me to search for her.  But, mum and dad believed it to be important and I am grateful that they did.  I personally don’t remember how I felt the first time, but even now it’s still kind of surreal when I think of her, as I consider my parents to be my parents.  As it should be.  
Another note, I probably faced racism in school, but it wasn’t something that ever fazed me any, it was all kind of just a part of the ingrained culture of high school and wasn’t any more bad or worse than any other form of teasing.  
Even as an adult I don’t really get any negative racism from anyone.  And I think the fact that I was brought up to tolerate and accept people who are different from me helps in this.  Also my upbringing in the Church.  
I know I haven’t mentioned much about that, but, I’m talking on more of a broad view of my life as an adoptee.  However, in essence, God is at the centre of all of it.  So, there really isn’t any need to delve into my faith right now. 
I must mention briefly that when I was in high school and doing my first degree while living in Townsville, we went to a Presbyterian Church that I eventually started to only go to once a month or so, because it just wasn’t drawing me.  I never moved away from God, even when studying a science degree, but I just became jaded about the church itself.  
Fast forward to when we moved to Perth, and I found my second home, Riverview.  But, that’s a whole other blog post.  Suffice to say that my 9 years in this city has helped me grow even more in myself, and forever reminds me of how grateful I am for the opportunities I’ve been afforded because I was adopted, and the people I’ve met.  Including my wonderful husband, who is also adopted (along with his sister and her husband).  
Adoption is special.  Adoption is about creating family.  Adoption is all about love.  
God bless you all.
**Apologies for the disjointedness of some of this blog.  I don’t think in perfectly, grammatically correct English. 
Posted in Blogging, July, my thoughts

July 30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 5

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
A photo of someone AND something that made my day special 
1. Someone that made my day special 

This man always makes my day special.  He doesn’t even have to do anything he just does.   Being with him makes my day brighter.  So blessed by that. 
2.  Something that made my day special 

Being at church and worshipping always makes my day special.  There’s just something about being in the presence of God especially as a fresh start for the week.  It is one way for me to recharge.  That reconnection with God. 
And being with God is the best person you could be with. Connection with God is the most important relationship anyone could have, ever. And I can’t imagine why people wouldn’t want that. 
~~~~~
I know I’m going off from the challenge, but after the late night/early morning conversation I had with Mark I feel like sharing some other thoughts.  
– Church denominations are a problem.  Don’t get me wrong.  I understand why and how they came about.  However, the differences between them often causes discontent and infighting between a group of people who really should be working together to affect change in this world.
– Jesus gave us a New Commandment.  To love one another as He loved us.  
–  it is sad that many Christians do not come across loving.  Perhaps they have good intentions, after all it’s not like any of us would wish Hell on anyone.  But, when it comes to the “sins” of this world many of us come across judgemental rather than loving and critical.  (Critical in the constructive way that looks to help others to become better versions of themselves, not to tear people down).
–  Connection is about seeing those who are on the periphery and thinking about how we influence their lives.  
–  Connection is about showing people that they are valued and that Jesus loves them.  
–  I can’t understand why people can’t believe in God.  I just really can’t.  No judgement of course.  But, I just don’t get it. 
– It seems that Christians are again in a position where we must stand firm and defend our faith.  Society is really getting on the “Christianity should be private” and “feel free to practise your religion, but don’t talk about it to us.”  
But, being Christian isn’t meant to be private.  We’re not meant to hide our faith.  We’re meant to go public with our faith.  Of course, not forcing it on people by our words, but by shining the light through our lives and our actions.  
– Christianity is a relationship with God.  And you shouldn’t hide your relationships with people.  It’s not healthy.  So the way I see that Christians must stand firm is in living their lives in light of their beliefs.  
– Walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk

 
Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, personal, prevention, protection, sex

The importance of Safety

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

This is a topic that isn’t easy to broach, especially as it’s always such a private issue.  But the subject of practising safe sex is an important one, regardless of the relationship. 

 I believe in using protection during sex, I must admit mainly because it was drummed into me in high school.  So, how much of that is just an ingrained lesson from when I was young, to something that I seriously actually believe in?

I am well aware of the risk of getting STIs, but, the bigger thing for me is how do I go about discussing this in a mature way without compromising how I feel about the matter?  
We did talk about this earlier on in the relationship, but we get married in less than three months and I have to admit that the act of sex is not something either of us is shy about.  But, my fiancé gives me the impression that he doesn’t see the necessity for protection.  
I am on the pill, but that’s not a fail safe and it doesn’t protect from STIs.  (And I’m on the pill for medical reasons concerning my iron levels not for sexually related reasons.)
And to be honest a part of me is not the biggest fan of the idea of using physical protection.  But, I’m also not a fan of the possibility of contracting a venereal disease.   
Big point to make:  This is not a trust issue.  
I trust my fiancé indefinitely.  And I do not think for one second that he would do anything that would harm me intentionally.  
This is a health risk issue.  And whether I’m willing to compromise my knowledge of how STIs work and how well condoms can actually protect against them for what we both think feels better…
I mean, obviously when we start trying to have children we won’t use protection, that’s a given.  But do I really want to start trying straight away?  Though, I am on the pill.  It’s a lot to think about and I really don’t know why I’m thinking about it right now.  
Guess that’s what happens when I stay up way past my bed time.  
And yes this is something I need to discuss with my fiancé.  But, I needed to sort my thoughts out here.
So, to clarify:
1.  I believe in using protection 
2.  I know the pros (lots of pros), and the cons (not that many really…and “it doesn’t feel good” isn’t an excuse)
3.  STI prevention
4.  This is not a trust issue
5.  We both believe in sex after marriage, so how do I even start this conversation? Not on our wedding night surely.  
6.  I’m a virgin, whatever that means.  Basically, I’ve never had sexual intercourse. 
Posted in Blogging, July blogging, my thoughts

July 30 day blogging challenge – Day 2/3/4

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
One piece of advice for a newborn child?

I would tell them to enjoy life and explore everything.  Of course they would probably not understand that until they’re older, but that’s what I would want to be told.
Last movie I saw in the theatre?

Mark and I went to see Jurassic World not long ago.  It was pretty amazing if I say so myself.  The graphics and the story and the dinosaurs.  Wow. 
The music hit the sweet spot and Chris Pratt?  Well.  Just well.
My favourite scenes were anything that had the velociraptors in it though.  My favourite predatory dinosaur.  
What would be one thing I would get rid of?

Discrimination based on race, gender, religious affiliation and sexual orientation. Period.  


Posted in Blogging, challenge, July, my thoughts

July 30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 1

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
Write your goals for the month 
My goals for the month?  Hmmm that’s a tough one.  I think I’ll set out to say that I don’t usually set out goals for myself.   Not consciously at least.  
But this month I think my main goal is to not let things overwhelm me and to relax.  And above all to have fun.  
Also on a more productive but personal level, I’m going to start doing my devotional again.  And sticking to it.  
Even if that means waking up earlier and actually getting out of bed.  
We’ll see how long that lasts though.  🙂 

Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, Tbt, the madden brothers

The Madden Brothers – Throwback Thursday

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
Two articles I wrote last year about the Madden Brothers. Enjoy. 


THE CALIFORNIAN FILES
By Marly (@thepiesendure)
“I feel like this is the happiest day of my life, everyone in Perth smiles.” – Joel Madden in Perth, 7th November, 2014
Benji and Joel Madden are the twins who, rightly or wrongly, are the recognisable face of Good Charlotte, that one band that was everyone’s teenaged anthem raiser.  Don’t lie, you all blasted The Anthem and sang it Karaoke style in your rooms.  (And, yes…I love Billy and Paul as much as the rest of you.) 
You could be forgiven for thinking that they became big names because of Joel and then Benji’s appearance on Australia’s The Voice, but they have been well loved by Australia for much longer than that.  With five albums under their belts with Good Charlotte they have done well stamping a distinctive sound on the music scene of the noughties.  However, as they’ve grown older, matured and learned a lot in their journey through life – with Joel becoming a father, Benji an uncle – they decided they wanted to go back to where they began.  
The twins hail from Maryland, US where their illustrious career started off in a suburban bedroom at the tender age of eighteen (probably even younger).  Best place to start a music career, am I right?  
Benji and Joel speak of their journey from that bedroom to California, which was their ultimate dream.  “If we get to California, we’ll make it.”  
According to Joel they hitchhiked to California, just him, Benji and Benji’s acoustic guitar.  Though Benji is quick to correct his twin by telling audiences in Australia, that they ‘had a friend with a car’ so no hitchhiking occurred. 
When they arrived in California they started the band Good Charlotte, which brought them moderate success.  Just kidding.  With friends, Paul Thomas and Billy Martin they embarked on the biggest journey four small town boys could experience.  With five studio albums under their belts you would be hard pressed to say they do not know the business.  At the end of their tour cycle for the fifth album, Cardiology the boys took a well-earned break from the band to pursue other projects and family life.
During this period, between when they took a break from Good Charlotte, Benji and Joel continued to produce and write music, not only as a duo but with other artists.  They have collaborated on several dance/hip-hop projects, written for, and written with bands such as 5 Seconds of Summer, All Time Low, One Direction and with artists and friends such as Pharrell Williams (of Happy fame).  
Joel and Benji also found time to be in Australia for the reality singing show, The Voice, meaning they have spent the better part of three years actually living in the land Down Under.  They have performed at many a Football [NRL and AFL] final and TV spots, and have become, in the eyes of the adoring public, honorary Australians.  
And then, with some prompting by Pharrell William, they embarked on a new project as The Madden Brothers.  Returning to what inspired them when they were growing up, as Benji mentions on their website bio, they wanted to just write songs that were true to who they were.  Without the face of a band, just their voices and a guitar.  And, so they began to write the record that I believe truly defines them at this stage in their journey.
Through The Voice it gave them opportunities to perform while on tour with Keith Urban and to stamp their distinctive character across the Australian music scene.  They also returned the favour, after releasing their debut album as the Madden Brothers, by taking two of Joel’s team members on their Greetings From California Tour, Danny Ross and Frank Lakoudis.  
I believe this is one of the things that sets them apart on the world wide music scene.  They appreciate music, for music’s sake.  To them it is an art form and a way to express what is going on in their world.  They did it with Good Charlotte, and now they are doing it as the twins.  
The Madden Brothers have always been exactly that, really: Two young men who wanted to escape from the mundane and bring music to the masses.  
Now, at the age of thirty-five, I believe they have succeeded.  
Go buy Greetings From California; you will not be disappointed.  And, if you ever get the chance, go see them live.  Experiencing them perform the songs from GFC and from their Good Charlotte back catalogue, was an absolute delight.  
Greetings From California Tour
Crown Theatre, Perth 7 November, 2014
By Marly

Let me tell you about the best concert I have been to in my last twenty-nine years of life.  That is correct, The Madden Brothers impressed me.  Which is more surprising than you could know.
To be honest, while they were in their Good Charlotte days, I was in no real hurry to see them live.  Though I loved the studio albums, I always preferred when the twins performed their songs live acoustically as I thought that showcased their voices more appropriately.  I changed my mind about wanting to see them live when Greetings From California came out, and after watching them on The Voice, and so when they announced their Australian Tour I was quick to snaffle some tickets.  
I surprised my friend with seats that were very close to the stage, four rows back, the closest we’ve ever been at a concert.  And, they did not disappoint.  
The concert was opened by Melbourne band, Red Ink, an alternative Triple J find that gave a first impression to remember.  The lead singer’s moves were something to behold.  The energy and obvious enjoyment the band exhibited were a great lead in to The Madden Brothers.  With catchy songs and an infectious attitude they had me dancing in my seat.  
By the time they finished our anticipation level was high.  They bowed and thanked us for being a great crowd and then the crew started to set up for the Maddens’.  
Let me just say one thing about the setup.  Unique.  They basically had footage of adverts from, I’m guessing, the late 70s/early 80s looping on the large screen backdrop.  California style.  Set the scene for the whole concert which was really a foray into the life of The Madden Brothers, through their music.  They began with Dear Jane and ended the show with We Are Done.  (See what they did there?)  And, punctuated the show with Benji’s “story-time” and the twin’s banter.  
Highlights for me were when they performed The Eagles’ Hotel California, with Voice contestant, Danny Ross and Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer.  
There was one funny incident that I want to highlight, where someone was yelling out “I love you forever!” when Joel was trying to talk and Benji basically told the person to be quiet so they could talk.  Everybody laughed during that exchange.  It was great to see Benji and Joel interacting with the audience.  It definitely gave an intimate feel to the concert.  
Overall the experience was one of the best I’ve had at a live concert.  Definitely recommend that you go see them, they put on a beautiful show and Benji and Joel’s harmonies…heaven.  
Greetings From California Tour, Crown Theatre, Perth 7 November 2014 anecdotes

Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, my writing

50 Day Challenge – Day 2

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Write whatever is in your head right now. 


Excuse my scatter brain thoughts.  I’m at the shops right now and thinking about not a whole lot actually.  My fingers are cold though, so it feels kind of weird typing on my phone (where I’m currently writing this post).   

There’s a long queue here and for some reason they closed most of the check outs and they had to reopen one because lots of people suddenly needed to pay for their shopping.  

My brain is tired right now. Haha.  Mum accidentally called me while she was fixing the bathroom curtain and it even left a voice message….just the sound of nothing.  Mum texted to say at least it wasn’t while she was on the toilet… Too much information?

My hands really are frozen.   Might have to start wearing gloves soon.  

Or maybe I could write with another part of my anatomy… Say…my elbow?

Write with my elbow?  Let’s see how that works on my phone…

Ghgghhgfg gggggfvb shhhhh cd ganged daffy gfffdsserthjjjjjkvgyy dodgy ugh fdaawetyhjjihbvc dffgggggfgg judge fdsdchh Lilith cfddfg hjik afghan CFDs hjik addff hfs hajj gods Khufu hfs gim 
Did fid hahafgggeagv fos ghi God 

Bwahaha.  Typing with my elbow is fun.