Category: my thoughts

Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, my writing

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Days 17/18/19

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
Things that make you scared

I could list a few things under what makes me scared, but let’s just go for the top three.
Spiders.  Spiders freak me out big time.  I especially can’t handle red back spiders.  I’m well aware that they can’t kill me.  As I’m a grown adult a bite from one of them would only be extremely painful and make me a little sick…which in all honesty is enough of a reason to be scared of them, right?  As it is, I think they’re creepy and just….ugh.  Spiders, just….no.
I used to have some shocking nightmares about red backs when I was younger…that and blue ringed octopi…but I’m not so scared of those anymore because I’ve never encountered them on a day to day basis.
The other thing that scares me is public speaking.  It’s been one of my biggest fears.  You could say that it is a big fear for most people, though.  Or for a lot of people at least.  Interestingly, I think that the fear of public speaking is not necessarily about the actual speaking, but about how the audience perceives you when you speak.  I think a fear of public speaking is about how hostile we think the audience will be toward us, even if or when we know the group of people we’re speaking in front of.  
But, anyway, regardless of how prepared I am, I still worry and stress about speaking in front of a group of people.
Finally, my third fear….talking on the telephone.  This one is the worst because it can be really debilitating.  Especially when I really need to call someone.  And it doesn’t discriminate.  I do not like talking on the phone.  I mean….I can manage it with those closest to me, but I’d choose texting over calling even with close family and friends.  Crazy stuff.  
So, there we have it.
Disrespecting parents

Let me start this thought with something I experienced at the first centre I worked at.  I was working in the After school care and a mother came to pick up her children.  Her daughter didn’t want to leave and she was trying to get her to finish whatever she was doing.  The daughter was 11 or round about that age.  Anyway, mother started to try and talk and the girl shut her down, rudely basically telling her mother to shut up and leave her alone because she wasn’t finished.  That didn’t really shock me so much as that the mother just let her be rude to her and didn’t do anything about it.  in fact she laughed and commented something about how her daughter was always like that.  
That shocked me.  There was no way when I was eleven I would’ve gotten away with being rude to my parents.  I was raised to respect my elders and to not talk back or be disrespectful.  
I think the generation now has become less respectful of parents, which is quite sad to see.  I most definitely will be teaching my children to be respectful to their elders and that there are always consequences for their actions (positive and negative).  Yes, respect is something that is earned by both sides, but parents, I believe, earn their children’s respect by virtue of the fact that they have brought them into this world and provided for them.  
Of course this is not to say that parents deserve to be respected or that they can’t lose their children’s respect.  They have the responsibility of raising their children in a way that is honouring, loving and will edify their children.  And I think that’s why as a firm believer in God that promising to raise my children in a Godly way will ensure that the virtue of respect will be regarded highly by everyone.  If that makes sense.  
Something that never fails to make you feel better

Ok, so maybe this one is going to be a bit shallow, because I should really say something like spending time with God in worship, or spending time with my boyfriend.  But, to be honest the one thing that never fails to make me feel better is anything and everything Simple Plan related.
The fact that this band makes me smile whenever they share something online or release new music or play a show that I can see on YouTube, that’s a big thing for me.  I love this band so much.  It’s almost an obsession.  In fact it was for quite some time. 
I guess I’ve mellowed somewhat as far as that’s concerned, but they will always be my go to band.  And probably be the only band that I’ll happily go to multiple concerts of without being concerned about cost. I mean, come on, I’ve twice flown interstate to see them perform.  That’s how happy they make me.  
Oh, and Collingwood winning games makes me feel better too.

Yes…

Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, my writing

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Day 15/16

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
The best thing to happen to you this week?

I skipped another day, I know and also the best thing to happen to me this week hasn’t actually happened yet.  
I’m going to Melbourne with Mark and I honestly cannot wait.  It’ll be great to just get away and have some time off to relax. I’m long due a proper holiday, I think.  Sure I didn’t work for two months last year but that was not by choice so I wasn’t really relaxing.  
The end of last year was crap to put it lightly, well at least October, November was pretty bad. To be honest 2014 in some ways was a very tough year.  There were some bright spots during the year but it was still very rocky with work and all that, so for me to get to the point that I’m at now is amazing really.  
It’s all God, I can tell you that now.  He has had His hand on me the whole time. He has carried me through the hard times and I’m here now able to look forward to a lovely holiday with the most important person in my life. 
So, yes, going away with my man will be the best thing to happen this week. 
Though up to now, the best thing would be not having to pay for my car service from a few weeks ago.  My mum is pretty great. 
Three things you are proud about your personality

Well, put aside the pride thing, I think the things I feel good about my personality? 
1.  I think I’m generally a positive person, or at least I try to be.  It’s something I have to work on, but I always find that it helps make me feel more positive when I act it.
2.  I’m a good listener, and I am willing to give of my time.  I think also my patience ties in with this as well.  Again something I have to work on because though it may not be obvious to others, I can become impatient with people.  I guess I’ve gotten better at not being impatient.  
3.  I’m resilient.  Or at least I believe I’m more so now.  I’m always smiling even when I don’t feel it.  I guess I’m really private with my emotions and maybe that’s not always a good thing, but along with the being positive thing…I think that smiling actually helps.  Oneself and others.  
Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, my writing

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Day 14

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Something disgusting you do 

[Yes, I know I skipped a day yesterday, but I didn’t get a chance to get on the blog so here it is today.]

Something disgusting? I pick the skin on my hands and feet.  Maybe not so digusting, but it’s a terrible habit…and I’m trying not to do it.  [Trying and failing….] I think I remember when I started doing it.  When I was doing the mail at STAWA back in 2010-2011, the tips of my fingers started to get dry and cracked…so it went from there.

But, then again it could stem from something I used to do as a kid, which was to put pva glue on my hands then let it ‘dry’ then peel it off…

Haha.  Illuminating, perhaps?

Posted in AFL, Blogging, Collingwood, Football, my thoughts, my writing, relationships

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Day 13

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

A date you would love to go on

Hmmm, a date I would love to go on?  That’s a tough one, because I think my idea of dating is a little different to what society frames dating as.  Dating to me is just spending time with the man I love so I can get to know him more.

But, if I could choose something special?  Going out together to something we both enjoy, like the footy or theatre…

Oh, wait…we’re doing that twice next week!

There you go.  There’s my answer.

Another short one, but I’ve got Anzac Day on the brain right now.  So, let me take you on a tangent for a moment, since I’ve mentioned the footy.

Collingwood beating Essendon today made me somewhat emotional.  Perhaps it’s just the flow on effect of the Dawn Service and the added atmosphere of the ceremony at the ground, but it really moved me today.

I don’t think I’ve ever been as vocal whilst watching my boys play on TV.  Not in some time at least.  And the number of first timers and young players…and Cloke’s two goals from set shots.  Take that haters!

I cannot wait for the game next Friday.  Bring on the Blue-baggers.  We can take them on.  I’m cautiously optimistic.  Gosh…I’m going to be at the G for the second time [and then a third] in my life.  Can not wait.

Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, my writing, relationships

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Day 11

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
Your current relationship 

What to say about this?
Well for starters.  It is obvious that God’s hand is all over it.  I have never, never felt this way about a guy before.  Not even my ex. Not that I didn’t love my ex at the time. Not that he wasn’t meant to be a part of my life as God brings every person you meet into your life for a reason.  But, I didn’t feel the way that I do now about man now.
Anyway, that’s my ex.
I’m supposed to be talking about my current relationship.
As of Sunday the 26th of April Mark and I will have been together for four months. We are very serious.  I can see myself with this man for the rest of my life; that tells you how serious I am.  It’s hard to put into words how he makes me feel, suffice to say that he makes me smile all the time, and I can’t stop talking about him to my friends and colleagues.  All good stuff by the way.  
He complements me like I can’t believe, and we share a lot of the same interests.  
The thing is, my feelings run so deep that words don’t do my relationship any justice, whatsoever.  It’s an adventure, every day, new and exciting.  And we’ve already proven, I think that we’ll be there for each other when it matters the most.  
So…..I really don’t know what else to say.  Except that I love him with all my heart.  And I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
Wow….that was sappy….lol.  Well, better to be straight out about it, hey?
Oh, by the way, we’re going to see Avengers: Age of Ultron tonight.  Movie date night 😀 
Oh, and Mark can sing.  Bonus points. Hehe… 😀
*i probably used a million superlatives just then….
Posted in Blogging, fan fiction, fiction, first person pov, jars of clay, my thoughts, Simple Plan

Inspiration! Or is writing in first person from a guy’s point of view really that hard?

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
Let me give you this artsy photo of Pierre Bouvier to inspire you…in some way.  Not sure how, but just go with it.
So, thanks to random Simple Plan happenings I finally got some inspiration for Jars of Clay.  No, no relation to the band.  Jars of Clay is my latest Simple Plan story.  By latest, I began writing it a year ago when I was in one of my most creative periods.  I came up with several other ideas during that period as well, none of which are cooperating with me at the moment. 

To be honest, if the guys weren’t in the studio, this particular story may have stagnated; but seeing the photo updates from the studio has given me a push and dropped ideas in my mind again.

Pause to enjoy this photo of Pat, Chuck and Pierre….

Anyway, that’s actually not what I wanted to touch on in this post.  Jars of Clay is written in first person point of view, which isn’t as easy as some would think.  First of all, writing from this pov means you can only write from the pov’s point of view.  So, you can’t get inside the head of other characters.  I found that difficult when I began writing years ago, but I’ve improved sight unseen.

The other thing that was the norm in the early days of my writing was that I tended to write from the female perspective, or when I did switch to a male there was no discernible difference.  Which made for wooden characters.  Now though, I believe I’m improving my ability to give my characters their own voice.  It’s still not easy and I’m sure most of my narrators still have some of me in them, but I’m trying.  
But the biggest thing is trying to write in the voice of a male.  Without sounding like a female trying to write as a male…if you get my meaning.  I mean, maybe I should just take a leaf out of that author who wrote A Song of Ice and Fire and remind myself that I am writing from the perspective of a person who has wants and needs and desires and goals that are all their own and no one else’s.  And not worry too much about gender, except when it comes to those things only certain genders can do.  If you know what I mean…  
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this, so have one more unnecessary photo of Simple Plan. 

Posted in Anzac Day, Anzac100, It don't do movie reviews, my thoughts

The Water Diviner – "I don’t do movie reviews" review

Posted on by marlytheadoptee

Emotional.  Beautiful.  Rugged.  

The opening scene, in the Turkish trenches, makes a big statement that this is not your typical ANZAC movie.  It’s something different.  Obviously.
And then Russell Crowe…maybe a little oddly if you don’t know one of his first movies, his first scene made me feel some childhood nostalgia.  He even has a Koolie this time round too.  (A type of Australian working dog – the movie I’m thinking of is The Silver Brumby; he had a Koolie then too)
Russell’s Joshua Connor is raw, real, a man who is not afraid to do everything to find his sons.   Though the movie starts off being about his story of searching for his sons, it is obvious that is a much bigger story and in a sense it seems to be more a story about the war from the Turkish side.  
The woman he meets at the hotel he is led to has lost her husband to the war and her story becomes entwined with that of Connor’s.  
And then the Turkish officers that Joshua “befriends” in a sense.  Seeing the events of Lone Pine from their perspective and the war that is still going on in the former Ottoman Empire is heart wrenching and extremely moving.
This feels like a movie about lost love, and the importance of remembering those who have lost their lives on both sides of the war.  It’s also about hope.  
I know this review doesn’t make much sense, but it’s late at night; been put together piecemeal as I watch, and I’m crying because it’s so beautiful and moving and yes…. Ugly crying.
Best movie.  

Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, my writing

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Day 8

Posted on by marlytheadoptee
Something you’re currently worrying about

To be honest? I’m worrying about my health, which isn’t hard to do considering the way my body is at the moment.  Feels like my hundredth bad cold in the last few months; my hand kinda swelled up probably due to having my bandage on too tight; and my left knee/leg is giving me grief.  
What is there not to worry about?  On top of that it worries me when it makes other people worry about me.  If that makes any sense.  
I don’t know.  I try not to let things worry me too much.  When I do feel like I’m worrying too much I stop and pause and remember that I don’t have to do this alone.  I have God.  And I have my family and friends.  
But it is easy to get down on oneself.  I feel I’m letting myself down and others sometimes.  I mean, I know I can’t control getting sick but I’ve already had so much time off work….it makes me feel bad.  I mean, it’s the hazard of working in my chosen profession, but it doesn’t make it any easier to feel good about it.
I love my job; that’s a given but you would think that over the four almost five years I’ve been in the industry I’d have built an immunity to getting really sick.  
It sucks that I get sick so easily and then add this whole getting tendinitis thing in my left wrist and the whole of my left side of my body being stuffed-ish.  It’s frustrating.
So, yeah that’s what’s worrying me.  My health and how its impacting my ability to work and actually enjoy my work life and feel like I’m contributing to my full potential.  
(I know there’s nothing to feel bad about.  If I’m sick, I’m sick and there’s no point in making it worse and/or making everyone else sick)